Being willing to abstain - step 1

There's nothing like trying to change something important in your life and then the next day going on vacation. I don't do it intentionally, but when I think vacation I allow myself to throw any positive habits I've developed out the window. We could be 100% faithfully reading our scriptures, summer comes and we read nothing. So really when you factor in the three months of summer break, the week of Thanksgiving, two weeks for Christmas, and a week for spring break - that's four months of vacation. So, for at least four months out of the year I am not faithfully reading my scriptures, exercising, or eating anything at all resembling healthy food, and it's frustrating. Not only that, but they are spaced so that as soon as I get back on the wagon there is another "vacation" waiting to take me down. How do I combat the vacation mindset that undermines my success?

Step 1 in the addiction recovery program talks about being willing to abstain.  This line from step 1 gives me hope: "The only requirement to begin recovery is the desire to stop participating in the addiction. If your desire is small and inconsistent today, don’t worry. It will grow!" I would have to say that my desire over the last weekend was just that - small and inconsistent, but every day I wanted to do better. So, per the program, what do I have to gain from abstaining, and what do I lose when I indulge?

When indulge I lose:

• My integrity. When I am being destructive to my body and when I indulge and try to explain away my behavior I lose integrity.
• Power over my addiction. Every time I stop acting with integrity and indulge in addictive behavior I lose more that just that day or that moment, but it's like starting over only 10 times harder.
• The opportunity to reach my goals. It's not just a stop, but it is a decisive step in the wrong direction.
• Momentum. 

When I abstain I gain:

• Confidence in my self and my choices.
• A stronger heart, might, and mind.
• Every good choice fills my bucket and makes me more able to resist temptation.
• An attitude of abstinence that carriers over into other areas I struggle with like spending money compulsively.

I guess I should specify what abstaining means for me. Abstaining isn't really about the food so much as it is about the behavior. I am a compulsive eater and often mindlessly put food into my mouth when I am not hungry and without really thinking about it.  Abstaining from compulsive eating is my main goal.  Along with that is a desire to significantly reduce the amount of processed foods and empty carbs from my diet. So with that said, I present my heavily carb loaded food intake for today.

My food for today:

1 1/4 muffin

Chobani yogurt

Chocolate milk

Baked potato with chili

Beginning tomorrow, my focus will be adding in weight training at least three times a week and eating more protein, less carbs.

Photo for the day. Keeping it real!