I'm back!

Man, those last two weeks of summer were killers. I didn't have a chance to even breathe. So here I am. I'm not going to go back and post all the pictures I missed, but I have at least been taking pictures even if I haven't been blogging about them.

My goal this week is to have 100% week. It's Monday - so far so good. I am also doing my best to go to bed by 10:30 pm because I am getting up at 5:45 am. Crazy! I do like getting my exercise done early, but ugh.

I am also going to try to make it to the gym at least three times this week. There's no reason to pay for a pass if I'm not going to use it. I'm hoping it will help firm up my lovely pear shape into something with more of a waist.

On the positive side: today I was working and needed to stop for lunch. I went to the grocery store and bought a salad and a bowl of fruit. Yea me!

Now on to bed for a good nights sleep so I can do it all again tomorrow.

August 13 - August 20, I'm really too busy to diet or exercise, but I'm doing my best.

I'm afraid to go back and read my blogs. I'm sure they all start out, "My life is crazy!" It's true. It seems we are trying to pack every second full these last few weeks before summer ends. I think the hard part for me has been working like crazy during the week and then being gone every weekend. I really need Sunday to be a day of rest and it hasn't been. I haven't managed to get pictures of myself every day, but I did exercise every day this week (even though I had to go at 10 pm tonight, and will have to turn around and get up at 6:17 am after having taken my niece to the bus station at 2:00 am. I think sleep is the part of the health equation I am missing most. I have also been so busy I have skipped a couple of meals - that NEVER happens. On the plus side, I weighed in at 174.8.  We are off again this weekend to Sun Valley. A fun trip with the Nielsons. I will get lots of pictures of me being active. 

Here comes another weekend (I know it's only Thursday, but during summer weekends start earlier)

I always feel like I'm just hitting my stride, my momentum, and then here's the weekend again filled with guests, trips, and family reunions. It's much easier to stay on track when I have a regular routine instead of weird schedules and uncertain plans.

Today is fine, but tomorrow is pizza night. Last Saturday that meant way over eating, and as a result I didn't lose any weight last week. This week I am down a pound and if I am careful for the next three days, I can make it two.

My plan for the day:
B: egg sandwich and fruit
L: 1/2 pita sandwich, veggies, and fruit
D: Grilled chicken, 1/2 baked potato, corn on the cob, salad, watermelon.

I did talk to a friend about going back to the gym and I hope to start that Monday.

The frustrating thing about this whole process is that my fat baseline always used to be 172. I could hold on to 172 to matter what I ate, and then one day - BAM! I'm at 182. 182? That can't be my new fat baseline. So now at 176, I am still just trying to get back to my normal fat baseline so I can really start this whole process. Crazy I know, but I hate that I let things get so far out of control. I was really at the point where I didn't care and was just eating garbage all the time.

I haven't talked about the addiction recovery program lately, but I think I'm ready to start step 2. I have accepted the fact that I am powerless and have really felt the spirit helping me these last few weeks as I try to make healthy changes.

Step two: KEY PRINCIPLE: Come to believe that the power of God can restore you to complete spiritual health.

That's a pretty powerful statement. Basically that sums up the atonement. If you don't believe that God can help you and restore you then life is pretty hopeless because we are very imperfect human beings that make mistakes all the time.  I do believe God can help me and heal me, and I do believe in the atonement. I don't think I could even try if I didn't.

Today I will strive for consistency and integrity in my actions and reactions.

7/9/2015 - 7/12/2015 Busy days, missed a couple of pics and blogging.

 I'm just trying to get caught up so I can be on track again. I didn't get a picture Sunday or Monday, but did Tuesday and Wednesday. I have been really faithful about exercising M-F, but next week I start a challenge I signed up for and will have to move exercise to 6 days a week. The last three days have been crazy busy and in some ways it makes it easier to stay on track, but sometimes I grab the easy choice instead of the good choice when I am that busy. Sunday calories: 1,772, Monday: 1,639, Tuesday: 1,500. Today I am determined to hit my goal of staying under 1,500 calories. I will just have to stay out of the kitchen after 9 p.m. Wish I could padlock it closed.

7/8/2015 No picture today.

Hopefully, this is the only day I don't post a picture. It was the worst day ever. No exercise, no picture, I enjoyed a breakfast of pancakes and waffles with buttermilk syrup, and topped it off with pizza (and plenty of it) that night. Calories: 2,110. Ouch. Days like this won't help me reach my goals.

8/7/2015 Decided exercise in Yellowstone for the day.

Got up at 6 am and headed to Yellowstone for the day. We didn't get in any long hikes, but a series of short walks. I'd like to say we walked quickly, but it was a little difficult with all the tourists taking pictures of themselves or others.

Fun day. It's nice to walk in such a beautiful landscape.

Calories: 1,659 - but I walked off the extra.

8/6/2015 It's never easy to stay firm when all you really want is a Sonic shake.

My best friend came in town today and thankfully she's all about eating right, or we would be out to lunch and shakes after 8. It has made it a little easier to make good choices when I'd really like to just throw it all to the wind.

Since I am posting this 5 days after the fact, I'll keep it short. Calories for the day - 1516.

I changed my status from "light" activity to "active"

I've been working a part-time job for the last couple of months and it's great to have something to get me out of the house and keep me busy. I don't particularly like a job that I am tied to every day, and this one gives me the flexibility to work on my own time. It gives me an excuse to get up and get my exercise done in a timely manner and put on real clothes instead of pajamas. However, it also gives me the luxury of working at home in my pj's if I want to:) Having a job also keeps me out of the kitchen and the temptations of snacking, and I feel I can list my status as "active" on My Fitness Pal.

My job keeps me "active" at least 1/2 the time, but it also forces my to be quicker on my chores and keeping up with the house work.

I want to be an example of healthy living all around, eating right and pursuing a lifestyle away from the couch and the computer. Now I just need to pull my children along with me.

August 4, 2015 Time Makes All the Difference

I've noticed that I am always in a hurry. I'm in a hurry driving, I'm impatient in line at the grocery store, and I'm a fast eater. I don't know if it stems back to early morning seminary days when I would sleep in as long as possible, then jump out of bed, get dressed, eat a rushed breakfast, and head to seminary.

Children came along and it seemed that if I wanted to eat, I'd better hurry up and get it done. Now days, I am just in the habit of inhaling my food instead of enjoying it. I can be the last one to the table and still be finished before everyone is half-way through their meal. Not good. My daughter Kimber eats at a snails pace and is full before she finishes. I want to be like Kimber. I have tried eating slow and the whole time I just feel this pent up anxiety telling me to hurry up.

Part of changing my habits has got to be more mindful eating, as well as slower eating so my body can recognize when it is full. I think I need a visual reminder - like a stop watch or countdown timer. Then I need to plan twenty minutes for a meal instead of five.

My eating today went well until about 10:30 at night when Megan pulled out the caramel corn puffs. Dang it - they are my weakness and 10:30 pm I am really vulnerable. Go to bed I told myself, you don't want that I told myself, and then I ate some.

It's after midnight, but I'm doing this anyway.

It's all about consistency right?  That's about all I've got left right now. I exercised today, added in some interval training, and ate right. The thing that is really killing me right now is lack of sleep.

So, with that said, I'm off to bed.

Humility, part of step 1

In trying to understand humility I turned at once - to the internet. Wikipedia did have some great insight, but so did the scriptures. When thinking about humility I thought that we were basically to think of ourselves as less than the dust of the earth. To me that seems demeaning, but what it really comes down to is appreciating our talents and who we are, but recognizing that no matter what we make of ourselves, we still have infinitely far to go and it is only through being submissive to the will of God that we can get there.  Two words that I will think of now when I think of humility are submissive and grateful. When we recognize daily our blessings and turn our will to the Father, then real changes can begin happening in our lives.

C.S. Lewis writes, in Mere Christianity, that pride is the "anti-God" state, the position in which the ego and the self is directly opposed to God: "Unchastity, anger, greed, drunkenness, and all that, are mere fleabites in comparison: it was through Pride that the devil became the devil: Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind."[11] In contrast, Lewis states that, in Christian moral teaching, the opposite of pride is humility and, in his famous phrase, "Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less."

I love that last quote, "Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less." Awesome. Alma says: “Because ye are compelled to be humble blessed are ye; for a man sometimes, if he is compelled to be humble, seeketh repentance; and now surely, whosoever repenteth shall find mercy; and he that findeth mercy and endureth to the end the same shall be saved” (Alma 32:13).

I am compelled to be humble. I wish I had chosen to be humble all on my own, but here I am. This first week has been a really good week. I have acknowledged weakness, resisted temptation, and started to make positive changes in my life. I cannot make this change on my own, and appreciate the help from the Lord. There have been scriptures in my reading this week that have been really helpful and positive influences all around me.

I weighed in at 178 this morning. Down 4 lbs.

Menu:
Roast, potatoes, carrots, gravy, roll, jello, salad

It is fast Sunday, and my goal is to not eat all of my daily calories in one meal. I have to recognize that binge eating is not healthy and each meal much be made of good choices.

Crushed it!

Well, my plan was to get up early and exercise, but that didn't happen. I did get up and have a great breakfast and then I hit the yard. Three hours of vigorous weed pulling and digging with sweat running down my face and back - I felt like I worked out. I'm also feeling the soreness at the end of the day. I did try to figure how many calories you burn when you pull weeds, shovel, and do yard work. I figured about 300/hr. Not a lot, but three hours worth is pretty great.

I did stay well within my calorie count and am looking forward to fast Sunday. When my focus is not on food, I can really concentrate on other things. The most difficult thing will be going from fasting to road trip - I often get tired when I don't eat. Scott said he's come along for company.

Food for today:
B:  1 cinnamon raisin bagel, fried eggs, strawberries
L:  Ham pita with veggies, grapes
D: 1/2 hamburger, tater tots, watermellon

I said "no" to the orange julius I made for dinner, the free creamies at Sam's club, and the popcorn during the movie.  Yea me for abstaining and making great choices.